discoherent's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- convince so i went and watched the new poseidon movie... it was good... except for this one part near the end, it was basically the same scene as from armageddon... the father decides to save her daughter and her fiance by giving his own life... when i saw that in armageddon, i thought it was so romantic, and beautiful, again, just one of the many naive things i thought/did when i was younger... i mean honestly?! like seriously... your father will ALWAYS be your father, no matter what... but your fiance, or 'love of your life'? ha, that's bullshit! if you even make it to the marriage, and he doesn't leave you at the alter, and you get married, there is more than a 50% chance of divorce... which, unless you actually are one of the lucky people who actually finds a guy who isn't a complete ass, who won't lie, cheat, or any number of the other things guys like to do to the women they 'love'... is just a retarded... cause when your 'soul mate' does leave you for another girl, or he beats you, or any number of typical guy things... who are you going to go to? sure there's your mom, but there's a thing about fathers, they protect there daughters and side with them no matter what... mothers play the devils advocate and lay blame on you... i really thought that i would never say this again, i thought that he had disproved the theory... but 'love' is a crock of shit, ok, let me rephrase that, love itself isn't a stupid, but the notion that there actually is someone out there, who cares enough to be with you, to stand by you, to be honest with you... that is complete bullshit... i've said many times that i am terrified of being alone forever, never marrying, or having kids... well, i'm thinking maybe i just don't care anymore! i mean, i am hot, i do know it and i really don't care if you decide that i'm conceited because i like how i look, and i know guys at least acknowledge me even if it is only for how i look... so who cares if i never find someone? it'll be a long time until i have to worry about not having a guy who at the very least will sleep with me... so when guys do stop being interested in me, i can just become really stupid, live life to its fullest, as recklessly as possible... and as for the whole 'kid' thing, i mean, why would i even want to have a biological child? i mean, i have some fucked up medical history and why would i want to risk my child going through years of suicidal depression, or whatever else they could have? so really, i don't need guys... right? i mean, when i'm dating someone, i can't go to bars all hot-looking and dance with guys... i can't, uh, i can't... have my heart broken! so yea, i really don't need Him anymore... ...(and one day i'm sure i'll convince myself that) 9:53 p.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 11, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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